King of Earth and Heaven

On July 8, 1850, the King of Earth and Heaven donned a paper crown adorned with gold tinsel stars which he had designed.  A few hundred supporters braved hordes of mosquitoes to watch the ceremony on Beaver Island in Lake Michigan.  So began the short-lived kingdom of James Jesse Strang, one of the most brazen con men in U.S. history.  

Strang was born in the early 1800’s in upstate New York.  He was a sickly, undersized child who spent most of his childhood in bed, reading and fantasizing about a better world.   His childhood fantasies were excellent practice for his adult activities of grifting, cheating, and lying.  If there’s a sucker born every minute, Strang easily attracted the gullible and stupid.

In the 1800’s, the U.S. was awash in ethically challenged businessmen looking to exploit every avenue to make a quick buck.  Strang tried his hand at many things, from running a local post office to practicing law to aiding and abetting his father-in-law on shady canal projects.  

Eventually, Strang decided that crooked canal deals were less lucrative than the religion biz.  Strang’s gift of gab created a truth distortion around the people in his vicinity, inducing them to believe his lies.  Religious folks wanted to believe his fantasy of a better world at a time when the country seemed to be falling apart economically, culturally, and politically.  Non-religious people liked to cheer him on in a 19th century version of “sticking it to the man”, not realizing they were also marks in his con games.

Strang’s crooked career took off when he joined the Mormons in Nauvoo, Illinois.  The Mormons were despised as interlopers and weirdos who offended God by practicing polygamy.   Brigham Young was attempting to move the Mormons away from Illinois when the founder, Joseph Smith was lynched.  That gave Strang an opening to run his first truly successful con job.  

First, he claimed that Joseph Smith had written a letter appointing Strang to lead the Mormons. When Brigham Young challenged the (forged) letter, Strang claimed an angel visited him in a dream and told him to dig at a particular oak tree.  He led a group of followers to the tree where they dug (Strang could always find someone to do the dirty work) until they uncovered some brass plates covered with an unknown script.  By a wonderful coincidence, Strang was the only one the angel entrusted to translate the script.  Years later, one of Strang’s associates described exactly how they managed this con job. 

The con job split the Mormons between the followers of Brigham Young who headed for the Great Salt Lake and Strang who headed for northern Michigan.  Eventually, Strang found what he was looking for on Beaver Island, the largest island in Lake Michigan.

In the 1840’s when Strang arrived, Beaver Island was sparsely populated and accessible only by boat.  For much of the year, the island was snowed or iced in.  It was perfect for Strang.  His bully boys ran a terror campaign against the Indians and white settlers who already lived on the island.  Theft, arson, and horsewhipping have a way of clearing out the neighborhood.

Then Strang set about building his Mormon paradise.  Money was tight so he sent his bully boys to “consecrate”, meaning to steal, the property of non-Mormons.   Eventually, the brazen thievery was too much and Strang, along with his bully boys were arrested.  Strang’s knowledge of the law allowed him to delay proceedings while witnesses disappeared, changed their stories, or the opposing parties simply gave up.  

Being arrested infuriated Strang so he rigged the next election to ensure he was voted in as justice of the peace.  After that, he presided at the trials of his bully boys and amazingly they were always found innocent of the charges.  He later rigged elections affecting much of northern Michigan in an attempt to control the Michigan legislature.  That still didn’t satisfy his ego, so he created his own kingdom. 

As with all con men, Strang eventually sank beneath the weight of his own contradictions.  He opposed polygamy. Until he wanted a couple of new wives.  He ordered his followers to give all their worldly goods to the community.  Then he used their property to build vanity public projects.  He expected his followers to give him unquestioned loyalty even as he cast them aside when they had served his purpose. 

If you can tell the worth of a person by their associates, then Strang was the lowest of the low.  He surrounded himself with horse thieves, rapists, fake medical doctors, snake oil salesmen, and every other sort of ne’er-do-well.  They were bound together by their criminal activities.  

But when you’re a con man, you make more enemies than friends.  Some of his former friends who he had banished from Beaver Island began plotting to kill him.  Other former associates began ratting him out to save themselves from severe prison sentences.  

In 1865, the federal district attorney for Michigan obtained a warrant against Strang for selling timber owned by the federal government and counterfeiting money. (Both of these charges would most likely have been proven in court.)  In June 1865, after the spring thaw, a ship sailed into Beaver Island’s harbor with a federal warrant for Strang’s arrest.  

After some negotiations, Strang agreed to come quietly.   As he walked toward the harbor shots rang out. Strang dropped dead, shot by one of his own bully boys who felt betrayed by the prophet, king, con man.  

There is so much more to the life of J.J. Strang and his many cons, described in The King of Confidence: A Tale of Utopian Dreamers, Frontier Schemers, True Believers, False Prophets, and the Murder of an American Monarch, by Miles Harvey (2020).  The book is a fast read with an incredible amount of background information that provides cultural context for the life and crimes of Strang. 

If you would like Norma’s blog sent to your inbox, we invite you sign up by clicking here! And we will see you next time!

And be sure to follow Norma on LinkedIn

Burning Down the Church

Culture wars have been a feature of our country from the beginning.  These wars arise from fear of loss as political and economic power is shared with more people.  Fear of loss is natural and needs to be addressed. Instead, it is exploited by zealots who blindly believe the misinformation spewed by cynical opportunists seeking attention and power.  

Bible – by Aaron Burden

One such culture war happened in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in the 1840’s.  Philadelphia was a major seaport and primary point of entry for new immigrants. The unwanted immigrants of that day were Irish Catholics.  Some folks were convinced that Irish Catholics would destroy America’s Protestant heritage.  Most folks believed the Irish would undercut wages and steal the jobs of native-born Americans. 

Pennsylvania was founded on religious tolerance, so naturally the 1840’s culture clash morphed into a religious war closely tied to anti-immigrant hysteria.  In the 1840’s, every public-school day began with a Bible reading.  Protestants insisted that the schools use the King James Bible while Irish Catholics wanted to use the “Catholic” or Douay Bible.   Both sides tried to seize control of the school board during elections. Eventually a compromise was agreed but like all good political compromises, it would be undermined by the rabblerousers.

A bunch of populist blowhards decided to get their 15 minutes of fame.  On the nativist side was Lewis C. Levin.  Levin was a charismatic man who never had any trouble talking other people into giving him money, despite his history of bankruptcies and lawsuits alleging he misused investors’ money.  

Lewis C. Levin – from Wikepedia

Levin smooth-talked his way into being the editor of a Philadelphia newspaper.  His hobby horse was temperance, which was ideal for attacking Irish Catholics.  Irish Catholics were caricatured as drunken, lazy (but job-stealing) threats to the American way of life.  He cynically stoked the anti-immigrant rage through editorials and speeches, hoping to parlay it into a political career.

On the immigrant and Catholic Irish side of the fight was Bishop Francis Patrick Kenrick.  He negotiated the Bible readings compromise and built several Catholic churches, including St. Michael’s.  Although he vigorously defended the interests of Irish Catholic immigrants, he counseled his flock to avoid violence.   

But violence became inevitable in July 1844 when everyone was sweating in the summer heat and humidity.  July was speechifying and marching season.  Every civic and political group sponsored a July 4th parade, followed by speeches.  

Levin decided the nativists would show the Catholics who was boss by marching into a city ward that was predominantly Irish Catholic and delivering hours of anti-immigrant speeches.  Angry Catholics heckled the orators. Pushing and shoving degenerated into bricks, clubs and fists.  A few wild shots were fired by unknown persons and the nativists were chased out of the ward. 

Catholic mass – by Josh Applegate

Nativist leaders screeched that the Catholics were stockpiling weapons and planning to attack Protestants and nativists.  Young men of the nativist movement were eager to believe these lies because it gave them political cover for working off excess energy in a riot.  After consuming too much alcohol, the nativist bully boys began attacking Catholic neighborhoods. They were quickly joined by an anti-Catholic, anti-immigrant mob who torched St. Michael’s Church. The church burned to ruins while the mob prevented the fire brigades from dousing the flames.  

Levin and other populists had stirred up a mob they couldn’t control.  Sheriff Morton McMartin, an Irish Protestant immigrant, lacked a dedicated police force to restore order. He could only appeal for volunteers to serve on a posse, but few men were interested in becoming a target for the mob. 

McMartin appealed to the governor for state militia help.  State militias were volunteer forces of dubious military value in the 1840’s and it was unclear whether they could legally be used against a riotous mob of citizens.  The governor appealed to Washington for federal troops, but his request was declined. The federal government was gridlocked over whether to allow slavery in the new western states. 

Eventually the governor authorized using the 1st Division, Pennsylvania Militia to protect Catholic churches from arson.  The mob initially welcomed the militia since many militia officers were pro-nativist.  The mob’s mood changed when they realized the soldiers would follow orders to protect Catholic property.  They attacked the soldiers who defended themselves with guns and cannons.  That ended the culture war in Philadelphia.  

In the aftermath, Levin managed to win election to Congress despite being charged with treason.  He accomplished nothing and was not reelected. He died broke. Bishop Kenrick created an English translation of the Douay Bible before dying in 1863.  

Culture wars never end but they also never succeed because society evolves.  Bible readings are no longer part of the daily routine at public schools.  In 1960, John F. Kennedy, an Irish American Catholic, held a Douay Bible when taking his presidential oath.  Camelot began. Until the next culture war started.

Image of book – from Amazon

To read all the gory details, see The Fires of Philadelphia, by Zachary M. Schrag (2021).  The book is exceptionally well researched but has the feeling of being rushed into print without sufficient proofreading.  Fortunately, the typos don’t distract from a fascinating story.  

If you would like Norma’s blog sent to your inbox, we invite you sign up by clicking here! And we will see you next time!

Scary Times in New England

Betty and Abigail were not normal little girls. They never had a childhood because childhood didn’t exist in Puritan New England.  Children were just miniature adults who needed to get taller.  Nine-year-old Betty was the daughter of Reverend Samuel Parris and 11-year-old Abigail Williams was her cousin.   

They arrived in Salem Village, Massachusetts around 1689 when Rev. Parris became the minister at the local church.  He turned to preaching after failing at business.  He negotiated a mediocre salary and the loss of the fringe benefit of firewood.  He had to forage for his own wood to heat his home.  

Abigail and Betty lived like little princesses in the parsonage because the Parris household had two slaves to do the hard work.  One of those slaves was a black woman named Tituba.  Tituba told the girls about her childhood in Barbados and performed voodoo spells.  Abigail and Betty spread Tituba’s tales to their girlfriends.  

Girls in Puritan New England endured lives of unbelievable drudgery.  They received only enough schooling to be able to read the Bible. They spent their days learning to become mommies, the only role they were allowed in life. They cooked, cleaned, sewed and cared for younger siblings and aged relatives.  

Stealing away to sit in the Parris kitchen and listen to Tituba’s stories and watch her voodoo parlor tricks broke the monotony.  Voodoo is a respected religion today in parts of west Africa and the Caribbean.  But in 1690’s New England it was devil worship.  

Witch on way to gallows

People were already on edge in 1680’s and 1690’s New England. A smallpox epidemic had killed many people.  Indian attacks were on the rise. Worse, the royal governor had revoked the Bay Colony charter, invalidating all the deeds granted under the charter.  Until the charter was reinstated, no one owned their homes or farms.  

As all people do in calamitous times, the Puritans searched for the cause of their ill fortune.  Many prayed; some believed the end of times had come. Others looked for scapegoats. The social chaos set the stage for the Salem girls.  

It began with Betty who sometimes sat staring at nothing rather than working and shrieked in fear when called by her mother.  Soon she was making choking sounds during family prayers and barking like a dog.  Abigail developed the same symptoms. At first, Rev. Parrish and his wife tried to hide the news but soon the neighbors’ teenage girls were afflicted.  

Cotton Mather

Excitable crowds gathered to watch the girls writhe and shriek in a 17th century version of The Exorcist.  Medical doctors couldn’t cure the girls. Preachers prayed for the girls, but it made no difference. Most villagers agreed the girls were a textbook example of the possessions  described in Cotton Mather’s book about witches.  

The girls were having a high old time with their 15 minutes of fame. Suddenly they were the headline news!  But eventually, Rev. Parris got a dim clue that strange things had been happening in his kitchen.  When questioned, Betty sobbed incoherently about Tituba.  

Tituba and two other women were the first to be accused of witchcraft. Sarah Good was the wife of a day laborer.  Sarah Osborne was a widow rumored to have slept with her overseer before they married.  A slave, trailer trash and a slut.  They were throwaway women on the fringes of society.  

Senator Joseph McCarthy

Between February 1692 and May 1693, scores of people were investigated for witchcraft.  Like the 1950’s communism investigation by Senator McCarthy, every Salem defendant was pressured to simultaneously prove they weren’t guilty and to identify their accomplices.   

Tituba played her moment in the spotlight to perfection. She talked freely and offered to perform a few voodoo spells.  She was eventually released from prison and faded into obscurity.

Witch services

Others were not so lucky.  Sarah Good and 18 others were hanged as witches. Sarah Osborne died in prison of ruined health from her ordeal. One man was crushed to death under a pile of rocks as his interrogators tried to press a confession out of him. 

As in all such events, the victims were people whose status made them easy targets.  When people of social standing began to be accused, the witch hunt was shut down. 

The Devil in Massachusetts, Marion L. Starkey

To get the full story on this fascinating study in mass hysteria and prejudice, see The Devil in Massachusetts, by Marion L. Starkey.

If you’d like my blogs sent directly to your inbox, simply click here and sign up today! And we’ll see you next week!

Election Shenanigans

Quill Pen

Contentious elections have always been a feature of American politics starting with the very first presidential and Congressional elections in 1789. The election almost didn’t happen because Rhode Island, North Carolina and New York had not yet ratified the brand new Constitution.

The Constitution was cooked up by the Continental Congress, a group of top 1% white men who owned real estate or businesses or both.  Fortunately for American democracy, these men were both pragmatic and visionary.  They aspired to create the most perfect democracy in the world.  But they pragmatically gave up on perfection by compromising on the issue of slavery in order to induce the slave owners from the southern states to support ratification. 

Even with the compromises, the new Constitution was controversial.  Many people feared that giving too much power to a central government would inevitably lead to dictatorship.  To win support for ratification, a public education campaign was implemented.  The Federalist Papers were op-ed pieces in which each installment explained the rationale behind the powers outlined in the Constitution.  The authors were Alexander Hamilton (1st Treasury secretary), James Madison (4th president), and John Jay (1st chief justice of the Supreme Court).

The Federalist Papers, edited by Clinton Rossiter

The Federalist Papers were published in newspapers, the 18th century version of CNN and Fox News.  But soon the op-ed campaign was jeopardized by a new post office regulation that slowed the distribution of newspapers across the country.  Federalists, including George Washington, cried foul play because they feared the slowdown would give the upper hand to anti-federalists.  

In the end, New York ratified the Constitution and the new government was secured.  But the federalists remained twitchy going into the first congressional elections. The country was evenly divided and federalists worried that Congress would be dominated by anti-federalists. If anti-federalists gained control of both houses of Congress, the new model of democracy would be killed off before it could take root. 

When the votes were counted, the House had a pro-federalist majority and the Senate was balanced between pro- and anti-federalists. Congress set to work on two important tasks.  The first task was to ensure that the Electoral College properly voted on a president.

Washington Monument

On February 4, 1789, the Electoral College unanimously elected George Washington as president.  Although Washington didn’t campaign to become president, he was the most widely respected man in the country and there was never any doubt he would be elected president.  He was officially notified on April 14, 1789.

The second task for the first term of Congress was to hash out the details of how the government would actually function.  Today, regulatory agencies handle the details. One hot topic was a Congressional veto. Half the Senate distrusted a powerful presidency and wanted the power to retain Cabinet members who opposed the president’s policies. The Senate vote was a tie, leaving Vice President John Adams to break the deadlock by voting “no”. The President continues to control the Cabinet.

John Adams

Having worked all summer, Congress adjourned on September 30, 1789. That’s when the politicking really took off.  The founders of the U.S. were avid letter writers, the social media of their day, and they exchanged lengthy letters seeking allies.  Before long, the members of Congress were self-selecting into groups based on their vision of the country.

Federalists wanted a strong central government and an economy based on industry while states-rights advocates wanted a weak central government and an economy based on agriculture.  Basically, that translated into northern states with factories against southern states with slave plantations.  That regional breakdown continues to influence elections today.

Polling Station

Washington retired in 1797 after his second presidential term. That was the cue for the new political parties to contest the presidential and Congressional election of September 1797.  Voting was a raucous affair. Most polling locations were taverns. The political candidates offered each voter free whiskey and empty political promises.  Voters publicly announced their choice then bellied up to the bar for another round on the house.  The candidate who supplied the most whiskey won.

Washington: The Indispensable Man, by Flexner

The Great Decision, by Sloan & McKean

If you would like a readable one volume biography of George Washington, see Washington: The Indispensable Man, by James Thomas Flexner (1974 edition).  For a description of whisky voting, see The Great Decision, by Cliff Sloan and David McKean (2009)   

If you’d like my blogs sent directly to your inbox, simply click here and sign up today! And we’ll see you next week!

Death of the First Democracy

Thucydides

A democracy is the most difficult form of government to run because it depends upon compromises and trust. Voters must trust that the politicians are deciding the tough, divisive issues in the best interests of everyone. 

Greek city ruins

When times get tough, demagogues appear with false promises that encourage the voters to distrust the government.  Distrust is followed by the death of democracy.  This fate was experienced in the first democracy, ancient Athens.

In ancient Athens every adult male was eligible to vote.  Their democracy supported an extensive trade network that made Athens wealthy.  But Athens was threatened by the rise of Sparta. Both cities wanted to be the world power controlling the Greek city-states and trade routes around the Mediterranean. 

Athens Acropolis

In 431 BC Athens enthusiastically went to war with Sparta, no doubt believing they’d be home for the holidays. Each side bribed and intimidated smaller city-states to join the fight.  The war alternately favored each side as allies double-crossed the low bidders.  One of the worst double-crossers was Alcibiades who eventually sold out everyone.  (See my September 9, 2018 blog about Alcibiades: https://www.normashirk.com/history-by-norma/2018/9/9/schemer-traitor-betrayer) 

Alcibiades fled his home town of Athens and showed up in Sparta offering to help them defeat Athens.  Before long, the Spartans smelled a rat and Alcibiades on the road again. He went to the Persian territory of Lydia.  While hiding in Lydia, Alcibiades concocted a brilliantly fiendish scheme that would allow him to return to Athens as a hero.

Tissaphernes coin

First, he convinced the Persian ruler of Lydia, Tissaphernes, to sit on the sidelines while the Greeks killed each other, as this would leave a power vacuum to be filled by the Persians. Then he contacted friends in Athens and offered them a deal they couldn’t refuse.  He would convince Tissaphernes to support Athens in exchange for the Athenians allowing him to return and agreeing to end democracy.

At the time, the war was going poorly for Athens. They had just suffered the loss of most of their army and navy invading Sicily.  Even though they were able to quickly rebuild the navy the loss was traumatic because Athens prided itself on its sea power.

Greek soldier

The losses in Sicily eroded trust in the government. Athens was being beaten by autocratic Sparta.  Poor decision-making by the Athenian politicians eroded support for democracy.  That distrust provided an opening for Alcibiades’ friends. 

In 411 BC, Alcibiades’ friends, led by Pisander, argued that the only way Athens could win the war was to convince the Persians to enter the war on the side of Athens. The only way that would happen was to use Alcibiades as the negotiator because he had the relationship with Tissaphernes.  But Alcibiades would only agree to help Athens if the city ditched its democracy and allowed him to return home.

Athens Acropolis

The offer stank to high heaven as far as most Athenians were concerned.  Many people argued that Alcibiades was a low-down skunk who had double-crossed them before and couldn’t be trusted. Besides, inviting him to return would violate existing Athenian law and religious omens.  Others were unwilling to give up on democracy.

Pisander won the argument by asking the equivalent of “Are you better off today than you were four years ago?”  He asked the Athenians if they thought they could win the war when Sparta had a navy equal to theirs, had more allies, and was receiving financial support from the Persians.  

Overwhelmed by fear of the unknown future, the Athenians caved.  Their decision was eased when Pisander implied that they could revert to a democracy when the immediate crisis was over.  Of course, that’s not what happened. Once a small group of oligarchs had control, they sidelined all their political and religious opponents.  

History by Peloponnesian War, Thucydides

Pisander went to Lydia to negotiate a treaty with the Persians. But Tissaphernes realized that Sparta was in the ascendancy which meant allying with Athens didn’t make political sense.  Alcibiades took over the negotiations when he realized that Tissaphernes was wavering. Alcibiades made outrageous demands that he knew the Athenians couldn’t accept. Then he blamed the Athenians for the failed deal.

In 404 BC, a hit squad finally terminated Alcibiades’ treachery.  In 403 BC, Sparta won the war. Democracy disappeared for over 1000 years.   

I relied on the History of the Peloponnesian War, by Thucydides (1954 translation by Rex Warner, Penguin Classics edition).  Thucydides is considered the first professional historian for his efforts to separate fact from fiction and to present both sides of the war.  

If you’d like my blogs sent directly to your inbox, simply click here and sign up today! And we’ll see you next week!

Green Jackets at Badajoz

Today’s elite soldiers look like the Green Berets or the Navy SEALs.  But 200 years ago, the elite soldiers were sharpshooting riflemen in the 95th Regiment of Foot.  Instead of the usual infantry red coats, the 95th wore green jackets.  The unit became legendary during the Napoleonic wars.

Fortress tower

The rise of Napoleon Bonaparte threatened to upset the global balance of power.  Napoleon wanted to reshape Europe and the world in the image of revolutionary France with himself in charge.  Britain wanted to stop him. 

One hotly contested area was the Iberian Peninsula. Spain was under French control with Napoleon’s brother, Joseph, imposed as the Spanish king.  Portugal was controlled by the British who helped the Portuguese royal family flee to Brazil. 

The 95th Regiment was sent to Portugal where they became famous for their new tactics. Unlike regular British infantry who stood in a long, thin line facing the enemy, the riflemen were mobile.  They moved into forward positions between the French troops and the main British line. 

As the French advanced, the riflemen aimed at officers and the artillery crews shooting at the main British line. Their rifles allowed them to accurately shoot up to 200 yards.  After wreaking havoc, the riflemen withdrew to the main British position where they were used as conventional troops, holding a position in the British line.

Siege of Badajoz

An excellent example of the dual roles of the 95th Regiment can be seen in the 1812 siege at the fortress city of Badajoz, Spain.  Badajoz had a medieval wall which had to be weakened in order for the British attack to succeed.  But French defenders on the wall could blast the British troops trying to build a trench from which British mortars could pound the walls.

To protect the soldiers digging the trench, the riflemen infiltrated close to the city walls and began picking off the French officers and soldiers who showed themselves on the wall.  The defenders were forced to take cover which allowed the British to finish their trench and undermine the wall.

Battle of Badajoz

That set the stage for the next phase of battle known as a forlorn hope. The forlorn hope was the initial assault against the enemy’s position and as the name implies, few participants were expected to live.  A modern example of a forlorn hope is the airborne troops that parachuted into France before the Normandy landings on June 6, 1944. Seven of ten parachutists were expected to die. 

A forlorn hope consisted of volunteers but there was never a shortage because of the potential rewards.  Participants could expect past lapses of military rules to be forgiven.  Survivors could also expect to move to the top of promotion lists.    

At Badajoz, the 95th Regiment was assigned one of the forlorn hopes. Their attack started poorly with many of them dying in a ditch at the base of the wall.  The few who managed to climb the assault ladders were killed by French defenders atop of the wall. 

95th Rifle enlisted man

While the 95th struggled, the wall was breached nearby and British troops began streaming into Badajoz.  That was the other reward for participating in a forlorn hope. Survivors of a forlorn hope had tacit permission to loot a fallen enemy city.  Looting was recompense for lousy pay and frequent flogging for minor infractions. Being first meant richer pickings.   

 What followed was a sickening rampage similar to the Russians in Berlin in 1945. An orgy of looting, murder, drunken rioting and raping ensued in Badajoz.  It took three days to restore order.  The lack of military discipline outraged the Duke of Wellington and he changed the rules on looting to prevent the excesses at Badajoz.

Gen. Sir Harry Smith

One notable exception to the ugly scenes in Badajoz involved Lieutenant Harry Smith, of the 95th Regiment.  He saved the daughters of the de Leon family from the mob.  A few days later, he married 14-year-old Juana and she stayed with him at every military posting for the remainder of the war. Decades later when Smith was the Governor of Cape Colony, the city of Ladysmith, South Africa was named in her honor.  

Learn more about the tactics and history of the 95th in Wellington’s Rifles, by Mark Urban (2004). For a fictionalized account of the Peninsular Wars, I highly recommend the Sharpe’s Rifles series by Bernard Cornwell. His books include a description of what you’ll see today at the battle sites.

Wellington’s Rifles

If you’d like my blogs sent directly to your inbox, simply click here and sign up today! And we’ll see you next week!

A Murderous Mother

In Imperial Rome, women could never formally hold power because Roman law didn’t give legal rights to women.  So an ambitious woman had to find other means for gaining power.  Agrippina used sex, lies, and murder to get what she wanted.  

Agrippina

Agrippina (Agrippina II or Younger to distinguish her from her mother, Agrippina) was a granddaughter of Emperor Augustus and a sister to Emperor Gaius Caesar (Caligula).  Caligula was a serial killer who was so erratically unstable the Praetorian Guard murdered him in self-defense.  

The Guard chose Claudius as the next emperor because he was the least offensive member of Augustus’ family.  But Claudius was susceptible to predatory gold-diggers. His wife, Messalina, was a vain, shallowly clever woman who apparently was willing to sleep with any man who told her she was beautiful.  Her indiscretions soon gave Agrippina the opening she wanted.

Claudius

Agrippina convinced two of Claudius’s closest advisors, Narcissus and Pallas, to help her instigate adultery and conspiracy charges against Messalina. Agrippina apparently persuaded Pallas by committing adultery with him. The men easily convinced Claudius that Messalina was a cheap tramp who was conspiring with her lovers against Claudius. In a fit of rage, Claudius ordered Messalina brought to him so that she could be accused in person.

To avoid any unnecessary hitches, like having Messalina successfully beg for her life, Narcissus sent a hit squad to execute her. That left Narcissus and Pallas looking for a replacement wife for Claudius.  Agrippina maneuvered to be the next wife on the grounds that she had a son who could become heir to Claudius.

This claim conveniently ignored the fact that Claudius and Messalina had a daughter, Octavia, and a son, Britannicus.   So Agrippina proposed her teen-aged son as a spare heir in case anything happened to Britannicus who was a child.   (If this were a Netflix series, you’d be hearing ominous music.) 

Agrippina crowns Nero

Agrippina had another problem, though.  Claudius was her uncle and their marriage would violate Roman law prohibiting incest.  That was a mere speed bump for Agrippina. She conspired with an ambitious government officer to convince the Senate to change the incest law. 

After that legal fix, she married Claudius.  She immediately abandoned her kindly stepmother act and replaced Britannicus’ tutors and servants with handlers loyal to her.  She also ensured the demise of Octavia’s fiancé, freeing Octavia to marry her son. With the domestic household under her thumb, Agrippina set her sights on others.

Tacitus book

Lollia Paulina was fabulously wealthy which had made her an attractive wife-candidate to Claudius until Agrippina changed his mind.  Now Agrippina connived to have Lollia Paulina charged with sorcery and sent an assassin to convince Lollia Paulina to commit suicide.  On another occasion, Agrippina intimidated a wealthy man into committing suicide because she envied his beautiful garden.

When she wasn’t conspiring to murder people, Agrippina was busy promoting her son as the next emperor.  She connived to have her son appointed to a consulship even though he was too young for such a position. That put him in the pole position to be the heir to the throne.  To underscore the point, Agrippina gave gifts to the troops and staged games in her son’s name. 

But for all Agrippina’s intrigues, she could never feel safe because Roman women lived at the whim of their fathers, husbands, and sons.  She learned that Claudius had drunkenly said at a banquet that his destiny was first to endure his wives’ misdeeds, then to punish them.  That scared Agrippina so much she decided to strike first.

Nero

She researched poisons that could make Claudius’ death appear to be from natural causes.  Legend says she put the poison on a mushroom which Claudius ate. When he dropped dead in agony, she had his body wrapped in robes and dumped in his bedroom.   After placing Octavia and Britannicus under house arrest, she summoned the Senate and priests to pray for Claudius.

For several days she provided false updates on Claudius’ health. Then one morning she appeared with the guard commander to declare that her son was the new emperor.  His name was Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus but we know him as Nero.  Nero was even crazier than mommy dearest.  One of his first victims was Britannicus. Nero later sent assassins to kill his mother after his paranoia convinced him that she was trying to kill him. 

Suetonius book

This account of Agrippina comes from The Annals of Imperial Rome, by the historian Tacitus.  If you want the gossipy, tabloid version, I recommend The Twelve Caesars by Suetonius or the PBS Masterpiece Theatre series, I, Claudius, starring Derek Jacobi.

If you’d like my blogs sent directly to your inbox, simply click here and sign up today! And we’ll see you next week!

Another Vietnam

The American Revolution was Britain’s Vietnam.  Like the Americans two hundred years later, Britain had the larger, better trained army and the largest navy in the world.  Just like the Americans in Vietnam, the British repeatedly won battles while failing to win the war.  

A perfect example is the Battle of Brandywine in September 1777. (There’s no brandy involved, unfortunately.)   After two years, the British had chased the Americans out of Boston, Long Island, New York City and New Jersey.  The next big northern city was Philadelphia which was also the home of the Continental Congress.  If the British could capture Philadelphia quickly, they might also nab the American government.

Lt. General Sir William Howe was the overall commander of the British forces. Howe knew that Washington had used the early months of 1777 to rebuild and train his motley forces while allowing small units to harass the British, attacking and fading away like the VC in the jungle.  Washington avoided a set piece battle which he knew the Americans would lose.

Howe was losing patience, as were his political bosses in London.  He placated London by promising to send troops to help Gentleman Johnny Burgoyne take upstate New York so that New England would be split from the other colonies. But he also decided to pursue his own campaign toward Philadelphia. It was Howe’s Vietnam moment because it muddled the British military strategy.

In July, Howe loaded 16,500 men aboard ships commanded by his brother Admiral Richard Howe.  The fleet sailed from New York City headed for the Delaware Bay intending to land near Philadelphia.  New York City is about 95 miles from Philadelphia. Howe’s troops spent six weeks at sea trying to find a suitable place to land.

Eventually, they sailed into the Chesapeake Bay and came ashore in Maryland.  The seasick soldiers headed for Philadelphia hindered most of the way by American skirmishers.  On September 11th, they arrived at Chadds Ford, 25 miles southwest of Philadelphia.

Chadds Ford was one of about eight fords on Brandywine Creek.  The creek varies between three to five feet deep and would have been relatively easy to wade across.  However, the Continental Army was guarding the ford as well as others along a six mile stretch of the creek.  The Americans held the high ground which should have been an advantage.  Luckily for the British, the American artillery had lousy aim and was of little effect early in the battle. 

Seeing Washington’s deployment, Howe decided to split his forces. A force of about 5,000 soldiers attacked Chadds Ford to hold the Americans in place.  Meanwhile, the bulk of the British forces marched around the Americans and crossed at another ford, moving into position to hit the Americans in the rear.

The battle began early in the day after the fog lifted so that soldiers could see what they were aiming at.  Around 11 am, garbled reports reached Washington that most of the enemy was flanking his position.  That’s when Washington had his Vietnam moment. 

First, he ordered two of his commanders to move northeast to prepare to defend against the British flanking forces.  Then he decided to leave the high ground, cross the creek and attack the British holding force at Chadds Ford, perhaps planning to defeat them before wheeling to face Howe’s main force.  Then he canceled both orders and awaited developments.

By 2 pm, Washington finally had confirmation that his position was effectively screwed because Howe was preparing to attack him from the rear.  While the Americans were trying to get into a new defensive position, Howe attacked.  Luckily for the Americans, their artillery had finally dialed in their aim and provided support to the soldiers.

Around 5 pm the American line began to collapse.  Major General Nathanael Greene arrived and threw his troops into the line to stop it from disintegrating. Unfortunately, for the Americans they were trapped between Howe to the north and the British forces at Chadds Ford.  Outnumbered and outgunned, the Americans finally retreated.

The Battle of Brandywine cost the British fewer than 600 casualties. The Americans suffered 1,100 casualties and lost 11 cannons.  But just like the Viet Cong 200 years later, the Americans absorbed the loss and kept on fighting.  The war went on until 1783.

I learned of the Battle of Brandywine while growing up in eastern Pennsylvania and refreshed my recollections with A Guide to the Battles of the American Revolution, by Theodore P. Savas and J. David Dameron (2006).  However, there are countless books and biographies about the battles and people in the American Revolution.  

=========

Want to receive this blog straight to your inbox? Sign up for my mailing list.

You can also follow me at HerSavvy.com. My column appears the 3rd Tuesday of each month.